Listen to the desires of your children. Encourage them and then give them the autonomy to make their own decision-Denis Waitley.
I wish not growing up was in your hands. I wish I could be a kid again. Where there were no worries. We had to run behind puppies then football. Ask mom for ice cream and then cry when would not get it. When choosing an ice cream over chocolate didn’t feel bad. When fighting was just for few minutes.
Childhood can be regarded as the most joyous phase of everyone’s life. We play, we fall and learn.
And the most important thing about childhood is we are free to make our own decision. We speak what our heart feels. We speak our heart out to our parents without fear. And when we fall, we get up and play again. We learn from our mistake. Isn’t that the most special rule of life?
You fall and then you rise up and play again. But now a days we are not sure as of what we are doing because as soon we tend to build our own brains we are forced to listen. A child has a tender brain which has a thirst to explore. What can a parents ask for at the end of the day? A child who his happy and enjoying his life, has good friends and good human and most importantly a good citizen.
But sadly the list doesn’t end here.
Children have now become a status symbol. And we tend to be misled into thinking that this is what good parenting is all about. There are certain types of body language parents display when they talk about their children.
Look around you at the times when someone asks another person which school their children go to, what the child’s hobbies are and particularly grades of the Cambridge International Examinations (CIE). If your kid got As and A-stars, you make sure to ask other parents what their kid got. But if your kid is a ‘shame to the family’ because he/she got Cs and Ds, you change the topic and adopt an unsaid apologetic stance.
The child is supposed to be super human.
He or she must play soccer, get all As, have friends, be in an elite school, be a member of the drama society, play a musical instrument and of course, his or her ultimate aim in life should be going to Ivy League universities or McGill.
That is why we gave birth to them right? So that they fulfil our unfulfilled dreams.
The pressure on these young people is often underrated but it can have devastating effects. Lowered self-esteem, psychopathic fear of failure and deep-rooted depression are some. It is worse if other siblings are achievers and one child is made to feel less.
Every year Pakistan has cases where young adults and even children commit suicide due to the pressure of getting good grades and being high-performers. Most top-rated institutes have such sad cases in their records.
A heart-wrenching case in point was a news story printed yesterday. A 14-year-old child from Malakand in Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa (K-P) shot himself because he had failed in his exams for the third time. This incidence is surprisingly not from an urban area. I am not implying that the bereaved parents of this boy were necessarily pressurising him. I do not know and it is not my place to comment. But generally, society is pushing children towards this.
Discipline is good and so is ambition. But everything has to have both limits and balance. And striking that balance is the key. Encouraging and even nudging the child towards a better future is good. The brain of the child is fragile it’s very important for them to take their own decisions. If they fall it’s their lead, they would get up again, have faith in them. Let them learn on their own. You will not be there with them always.
Maybe they will take wrong decisions maybe they would fail or fall but most importantly they will learn. What is the use in making a child a software engineer and he wanted to be drama artist and even if by any chance he becomes a engineer, all his life he would live unhappily cursing himself and he would do the same with his children. Because when do this to them you push them far away from yourself. They regret being your kid. You need to make them proud of yourself.
“kitna rok payogay unn pakho ko jab use udna aayega vo udd jayega,
Pankh toh udan bhare ke liye hi hai, unche aasam chune ke liye hi hai’
So this new year, try to be a new person, try to love your child as they are, let them live, let them fall, let them rise.
Do keep eye on them.
Count their steps.
Keep eyes on their path.
But don’t stop their path, count on them.
Guide them don’t hide them.
BE THE CHANGE TO SEE THE CHANGE.
SOME DAY
Some day I will go very far
Far away from parents and friends
Some day I will be alone
Living my own life on my terms,
Someday their wont be anyone to start my day.
I will be the owner of my dreams,
Ill decide when to wake up and when to sleep,
Their won’t be anyone to ponder my thought,
I will live my life on my terms,
Ill be happy on my conditions,
Someday just someday
No one will hide me,
I will walk on my own path,
And choose my own destiny,
With no boundaries and full freedom,
Someday I will be in
Further land with peaceful melody of love,
Someday I will be happy just with myself,
Singing along the daffodils,
Looking at the mountains and comparing our heights,
Someday just someday.
